There is a small hole in the back of my head that leaks. I think it may be a rash of some kind but of course I can see it to tell for sure what it is. It itches frequently and makes me wonder if maybe its something new, and undiscovered
and if it is will they name it after me?
I wonder what its like to be the first one to contract a virus or disease? It would be so strange to wonder what was going on and if you were going to die. The medical field would send you for such extensive testing, and probably wear biohazard suits in your presence. Which would be beyond creepy, especially if you illness involved hallucinations! But oh the marvelous wonders that would stem from your imagination if that were the case!!
It's weird enough for me when I dream
the connections and the links between what is real and what could never be real. How they twist together in a tangled web of oddities. To have that experience fused with drugs and other hospital delights might be enough to break ones soul and crush the return of their sanity.
If I was the first person diagnosed with aids I'd wish for death knowing what I'd brought on to my family and friends. Knowing how I was strung in the chain of events the changed the world the forever. At the time of course, I would have thought I was the harbinger of the apocalypse that ends the world. With the public knowledge, of aids, at the time I think the word would have been in agreement with me.
I wonder what happened to the first person to contract aids, how long they managed to live in the shadow of that horror. Did their family stand be side them and help them except there fate? Or did they die alone in an empty hospital room without any human compassion to comfort their heavy soul? And if this is the reality, do those who could have been with this person look back in regret? Family, friends
and hospital workers do any of them remember you??
Listening to: the zone fm
Reading: Mr Perfect - Linda Howard
Eating: toast and jam